Thursday, September 18, 2008

when you realize how little time you have

I've been working so bloody hard on this book out of some sense that I have very little time (let's hope I have more than I imagine). Perhaps it's because there have been so many deaths of close friends and neighbors this past year that I finally have fully inhaled my mortality (despite some near misses many, many times). In any case, I am watching my body rally repeatedly, even in its current state of exhaustion, so that I can do what remains to do on the book. I am loving every minute of the process, when my infected tooth doesn't make me feel like I want to sleep for several days.

The most difficult thing about imagining one's death is realizing that you might miss the most important moments in your child's life...that's really, really hard to think about...but I am not going to go there, since I have more tangible issues to contend with at the moment like writing my syllabi and paying bills.

1 comment:

Kayomi said...

Dear Beverly,

Very thought-provoking post. I am excited to hear about you finishing up your book and that you are finding it to be exciting. Interestingly, to me at least, being quite young even I am confronted often with human mortality because of spending so much time with my elderly grandfather. He talks about his passing quite often and always seems to be reminding me of things I should do before I pass as well. It is a curious thing to be reminded if not daily, then weekly, that I will be dead one day and that there are certain things to take care of before then.

Anyway, I am excited to hear that Eco-Art is happening Fall Quarter, and look forward to more info!